This week we are going to hate Brett Favre. He selfishly took over my Sportscenter for a solid month. I sleep with the TV on Sportscenter so whenever I woke up , 90% of the time I had to hear about Brett Favre. You see more crying in a Brett Favre press conference than an episode of America's Next Top Model. And atleast when I watch that it's funny and there's some nice tail to look at. If you don't want to retire, then why are you doing it and crying all over TV about it? He's an attention whore that the media built up as God's gift to football. The best part is he said he just loves to play but then when Green Bay offered him a deal for merchandising he thought about not coming back. This guy is a sham and a half. And now I'm stuck watching him every Sunday, playing for the "no chance in hell" New York Jets. The Jets are the "less thans" to the New York Giants, which up until last year was a sad thing to be. The Jets are like the little brother who feels lucky his older brother lets him tag along on the weekends. For all of you that missed this great story, here's the official timeline of events.
March 6th - Favre's emotional retirement news conference.
March 7th - Favre takes out his tampon and goes to Wal-Mart to buy more in bulk because he knows he is going to be upset for a long time.
March 14th - After a week of retirement, Favre becomes extremely bored and starts wearing his wife's clothes
March 15th - Favre opens up an account at all the popular lady boutiques in town and stocks up for the summer season.
April 1st - Favre's kids play an April Fool's joke and call him a man. Favre holds a press conference and cries
April 30th - Favre runs out of tampons quicker than expected.
May 15th - Favre realizes he's a week late.
June 10th - Brett Favre finds what tiny amount is left of his already tiny balls and decides to try and make a comeback. After all, he's a moron and throwing a football is all he knows how to do.
June 16th - Favre begins talks with Green Bay about coming back
June 17th - Everyone in Green Bay takes a break from sleeping with their sisters to read the news headlines
July 10th - Favre learns how to read and after reviewing his contract he decides it sucks and he wants out
July 11th - Favre's asks to be released from the Packers
July 12th - Packers management has a huge party behind closed doors
July 13th - Packers management decides to extend the party one more day
August 7th - Favre is traded to the Jets
August 8th - Brett Favre buys a white BMW and a house in Wayne and Tom's River. His children start obsessing over Bon Jovi and his wife develops an addiction to Taylor Ham.
August 25th- Favre and his family still can't figure out the Parkway, Turnpike, and are tired of being called Redneck assholes.
1 comment:
an "attention whore" is EXACTLY what hes is. i hate his sobbin' ass.
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