Jagerbombs!!!!!

The new blog is up and running. I got made fun of for calling it a new blog because the only thing I changed was the background. There can't be any updates unless fun things happen. This weekend I have a show with my band: the awesome rock quartet known as Foster. Then Saturday I will be down the shore to officially close what is left of the summer. Watch this video so you can quote it with your friends while you talk about how you really know people who act like this.

STEVEFEST!! BIRTHDAY'S ALL OVER THE PLACE!

I spent the entire week in Pennyslvania for work and got to spend a fun evening in Philadelphia with my good friend Eric Smith. There are no pics because I was an idiot and forgot my camera in the hotel. This was a huge weekend in the ilivewithmissy and lauren camp. We had Stevefest, Lauren's birthday, and Scott's birthday all on Saturday. The drinking began at Stevefest for me at around 5:00. There weren't too many pics because I was drunk by about 6:00 and had a hard time working a camera in between doing Rodney Dangerfield jokes and stalking my prey like a panther in the jungle. PANTERA!!!



I arrived to find Sean Cullen working the bar. Underage drinking is not only allowed at Stevefest, it is strictly enforced!



Then the "entertainment" showed up!

Unfortunately, not everything can make it to the blog. We try to keep it clean here for our younger readers. Matt couldn't handle the nonstop action. That looks like a memory foam pillow! I'd be sleeping too!

This video came out good on my camera, I don't know what happened when I uploaded it. It's supposed to be Matt sleeping.

Hey Mistaaaaaaa C!!! Did you get a new text message? Maybe taking a picture of Missy strippin in the hot tub! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YEAH!!!!
Lauren your hair looks so straight. Maybe it's Mabilene?

A night at Johnny's and Houston Calls

I went away this week and forgot to bring the cable to upload pictures to my computer. Last Friday we went to Johnny's and I was the only one who wanted to get serious. Not really an exciting weekend but I have to remain true to the blog and keep the updates rolling.

I started the night off right with some Steel Reserve for a cool 99 cents

Then I moved on to the good stuff!


Missy wasted no time trying ot attract the men. "Oh boys, who wants to buy me a drink? tehehehehe"


Someone was also busy that evening. Look at that guy taking a picture of me!
I got water on my pants in the morning from the shitty iron. I had to sit at work all morning soaking wet.

Scott made his debut on the blog. Nice hand placement!
Missy said if I drink enough she'd sleep with me.
A quick video.

Houston Calls acoustic set Saturday night. Good times!

Beach Bash 2007! OMG are you going for that Beatles look?!!

Not much went on last week beacause I was stuck in the city of Balitmore. Friday was the highlight of my day. I was lucky enough to sit in 2 hours of traffic through the entire state of Delaware. That brought my grand total to 4 hours in which I learned that Nickelback rules every channel XM radio and Roy Rogers has the best fastfood hamburgers. I finally made it to one of my favorite events of the summer: Beach Bash! My dearest friend Jaclyn plans a nice gathering for all us Muhlenberg Mules each year where Brian gets drunk and everyone tells him to stupid things. This year's theme was: "Hey you just had back surgery, let's do dangerous things that will hurt you but be funny for us"

Stunt 1: Keg stand
Result: Everyone dropped me. Thanks Phil!!!

You can make out a few scrapes and some redness. It wasn't too bad. I'm lucky enough to be skilled in the martial art of Aikido in which I was instructed on how to fall incase such a thing ever happened in hand to hand combat!! So I rolled on my shoulder and then slammed my knee into the pavement.

Stunt 2: Dance on tables and chair
Result: I danced. No spills. The women loved it! Look at that face of victory!! Then my camera decided to rub one out! Get that tiki torch!!

Stunt 3: Pretend you're a model and walk the catwalk!
Result: Women unable to keep their hands off me!! Ladies, let's calm down!!

Some important pictures:

Everyone discusses the kegstand drop and how they'll never donate a penny to the Muhlenberg Fund. Typical MULE conversation.

Me and my dearest friend Jaclyn.

Okay Brian! Tell the fucking story again, some people didn't hear it!! Tell it now Brian!
AHAHAH! Brian fell!!! Do it again!!

Oh Brian, is that blood coming out of your head? Let me pour some beer on it! Look at that face of satisfaction!

Next week I'll be in Philadelphia. I'm going to be taping a video for some cooking website my good friend Eric has put together. I don't have a link yet, but he has a blog: http://www.ericsmithrocks.com/. He takes great pictures and wrote a novel in which I am a main character. I'm also trying 3 different types of Nair. I will post the results later in the week!

Who's talking shit on my blog?!

Missy and Eileen have been trash talkin my blog! So now, I'm going to update this blog unlike any other blog has ever been updated. And where is Missy's blog? Where is Eileen's blog? When you two grow a pair of BALLS and make a blog, we'll see how great and fabulous it is. If you want some balls, you can borrow mine. I got balls on top of my balls! I can spare a few to you sissy pansies! You just started a war you cannot win! Yeah, I ride an exercise bike. SO WHAT! I also bought Nair because I have sensitive skin!! Atleast I don't have a big black dildo called the BLACK MAMBA! And Jeff wanted some links, so here ya go you flombay!



You're in way over your head. And when I'm done with you, that's where your legs are gonna be!!!

Shopping with Missy

Missy left us for Vegas this morning, so now it's just me and Lauren holding down the fort! last night she came home late past curfew, but I gave her a good talkin' to. As the man of the house, it's my duty to keep the women in line. I've been in alert mode the past few nights (even in my sleep!) because of a bug that escaped the bottom fo my shoe Tuesday night. I'm on the attack! I will hunt you down mo fucka!! Missy and I went shopping for her big trip on Tuesday after work.

Look at Missy! All excited for her big shopping spree! Things to buy: slutty outfits!

Missy keeps a detailed list of everything she has to do. Good thing I came on road head day!
We're stuck in traffic! Missy stop trying to bite your shoulder!!
I HATE IT when people walk in the middle of the parking lot!!! This man was lucky enough to get out of the way before we gave him a big push with Missy's truck! Look at those sleeves! Is it a short sleeve shirt or a long sleeve he grew out of? Make a decision!!! Buy a new shirt!
FUCK! They don't have my size. Shoes. Shoes. let's get some shoes! These shoes are 300 fucking dollars!
I found a nice pair of ugly booger green sandals!

Pantera's On The Prowl

Friday Dinner

This Friday I was invited to the weekly dinner outing with Missy, Wendol, JJ, and Jordan. We went to the Black Horse in Mendham (a town that will always SUCK! Just like Mountain Lakes). I would give this place 3 out of 5 stars. This is because all the hot babes I saw were going for the kinda guy that'll buy you a polo shirt for your birthday and then a week later buy the same one for himself and spill Grey Poupon on yours, offer to get it dry cleaned, and never give it back because you looked better in it. Everyone also had horrible haircuts. If you go there, get the Chicken Pot Pie.....it looked really good.

Look there's JJ picking us up at the graveyard! My cell phone didn't work here....must have been a DEAD ZONE!

YES! The Black Horse! Pink polo shirt = optional. Snobbery = REQUIRED
Missy wastes no time mingling with the locals. Anything for a free drink!
No wonder horses have such huge wankers!
Look at that nice plain dry chicken sandwich on white bread with no cheese or anything else that would add a touch of flavor to tantalize her tastebuds!

Move In Day!!!!!

The morning after Eileen's party me and Missy talked about the night while I did beer farts in Lauren's bed. Sorry Lauren!

Two of the same pictures framed and hanging on the wall! SOOO EMO!!! ps. Don't drink that beer, remember American Pie?
Those devirginizing fingers are bigger than you think!
That's my room! Packin up the suitcase for a fun filled trip to Baltimore! Look at that yoga mat!!
Missy made me put this one in here. She calls it my "beauty center". If Listerine and contact solution makes you beautiful, then I'll drink a bottle everyday.

Eileen's going away party

Eileen moved to Seattle and we had a big party!

I got to the party and took a nice picture with my dance party Lauren.
Then things got dirty, and Chris wanted a lapdance from Eileen.
Eileen says FUCK NO! You can't stand under my umbrella ella ella ella AYYYYYYY!
YEAH! DIRTY BIRD!! Fuck what ya heard, I do what I want!
Look at that vibrator!

"Who stole my fucking camera" says Missy!
Eileen had it! UH OH! An honest mistakke
I'm taking your picture for the blog Richardi. See how you like it!

The Funky Monkey

After I visited we decided to hit the town!! A little preeeeeegame action was in order. And a McDonald's hamburger that was 3 days old.

CJ was in such a great mood that he made a new friend right away

Hey tall American guy, I like your hat!

What a guy!

Ten minutes later......CJ gets kicked out. DUN DUN DUN!!

Missy is in disbelief!!!

After an hour CJ tries to get back in, but has no luck. My vodka with cranberry tasted SOOOO GOOD!
Lets fit 6 people in the car so CJ has to sleep in the parking lot!

Lauren tells everyone to get out of her fuckin way!! Those "hypnocrits!""

PS. Thanks for driving Barbs!!! Off to Johnny's we go!!