I really cannot stand Dr. Phil. It's not that I hate him, I just hate seeing and hearing him on TV. Dr. Phil has an incredible super power that he is unaware of: He can irritate two of my 5 (maybe 6) senses faster than the Millenium Falcon flying at lightspeed. First, my eyes immediately focus on his bald head. His baldness and head are so annoyingly shaped it makes my blood boil. Then I hear his nagging voice with the power of 10,000 old ladies yelling at you for walking on their lawn. So in a matter of .00002 seconds I have this ugly shaped talking cranium piercing my ears out of nowhere. Anyone that goes on TV and thinks they can solve their problems are so stupid they probably couldn't pour water out of a boot with a hole in the toe and directions on the heel. Who sits at home and says "I need to hear Dr. Phil say "Get Real" on national television, that's the only thing that will cure me!! Only he can help me get better and stop me from being afraid of my antique frying pan and return me to my normal life."I decided to go to Dr. Phil's website to see what all this jawin was about. I noticed there was this phenomenon going on and it was that everyone wants to be a Dr. Phil. He has a message board where people post their problems and strangers write back and try to help you..... just like Dr. Phil!!! So I decided to join it and make a post. I titled it "What would Dr. Phil say?". Which is kind of a rhetorical question because we know he says "Get Real" to everything. I'll post some replies as they come in. Here's my post:
What would Dr. Phil say?
Lately I've been sleeping with my friends' girlfriends. I'm a really nice guy. Never cheated on a girlfriend or anything like that, so this is very out of character for me. It started out with a girlfriend of a guy I only knew through another friend, so it wasn't that bad. That lasted for a few months and then things got a little crazier. I have about 3 best friends that are guys and in the past month I've slept with all of their girlfriends (sometimes with two of them at the same time). I feel really guilty and last week my one friend found and didn't even didn't care (he wants to break up with her anyway). So now that I've been given 33.33333% permission to do this, it just keeps getting progressively worse. I never even considered myself an attractive guy but for the past 6 months I've been spending about 3 hours a day at the gym since work has been very slow. It's always nice having a steady flow of women coming at you, but I'm starting to feel like a piece of meat. Tonight I went to my friend's house to pick up my Star Wars Trilogy DVD box set (awesome by the way!) and his recently divorced mom was throwing herself at me
Every Wednesday we're going to talk about people we hate . This week's winner is my most hated band at the moment, NICKELBACK. They ruin my drive to and from work every fucking day! They takeover every channel that I have preset on my radio. Sometimes they're on more than one channel at the same time, and here's the kicker: Sometimes it's the same song!! I'd like to know what losers are calling in requests for "ROCKSTAR" on the XM Top 20 channel. On top of that, who is still requesting Fergie "Big Girls Don't Cry"? Who out there is saying "wow, I haven't heard that song enough."? I won't go off on that because we can hate Fergie next week. I've thought about starting a petition that would demand XM to ban Nickelback from every channel for just one day. I've even had the fantasy of suggesting it as my dying wish for my last day on the planet earth. XM could never say no to that. It would be great to turn on my radio and know I wouldn't hear that raspy middle-aged Meg Ryan look-alike prick polluting my musically spoiled ears.
Incase you haven't heard or your name is 
